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I Don’t Know Why
I don’t know why but I feel like crying since one of my relatives is dead. He was always the person to start arguments and causes reason to fight, and I don’t even know the real reason why he does that stuff. My mom tries to find a level of truce with him but his pride gets in the way of it all so her efforts are always returned like a slap in the face. Even I harbored feelings of resentment towards him because he always talks about wanting more money from my mom because he feels that he doesn’t get his equal share when in reality he does get money but it always goes towards food to feed his family. When he got sick my mom’s other siblings made some kind of peace with him, and when it was my mom’s turn he just cried so I believed that they are finally on a level of truce. Now he’s gone and it was me who had to tell my mom that her brother was dead. Hearing the shocked tone of her brought pain to my chest but when she tried to hold onto her tears while talking to me I just felt the squeeze in my chest. I feel like shit cause I was the one who told her that stuff, and now I really want to cry. I don’t want to cry in front of my roommates, I want to cry on the shoulders of someone I don’t know so well so I can just let it out.